HOW CAN TEACHERS PRESENT VERY POOR RESULTS TO PUPILS' PARENTS

This was one of the questions I was asked during a session with a school yesterday in their end of the term training in Port Harcourt.

She went further, "the class teacher brought the result to me instead of giving it to the parent directly, reason being that she didn't know how to show the parent such a poor performance."

She landed with, "the whole result paper is filled with red ink."

If you are a teacher, you will understand this better, and if you are a parent, you will know that it's heart-breaking.

But before I gave them my answer, I asked two questions:

1. How do doctors give HIV positive patients their result sheets? 
2. Apart from the classroom performance, is there any other thing you have noticed in the child that is outstanding?

Now, forget the first question, it's not the right therapy here, it was just for interlude.

let's look into the second question...

Apart from the classroom result, is there any other thing you have noticed in this child that is outstanding?

If there is, which I know there must be, sit the parents down and lavish them with praise for having such a genius in their family and in your school.

Tell them of those who have changed the world with such talent. And show a powerful picture to them of what and who their child will become if this ability is nutured properly. And let the discussion of the classroom result be the last thing.

You don't start a critical discussion from a person's point of weakness or with a bad news. The entrance of every conversation determines the level of acceptability, willingness and openness of your listener to your view.

For the poor performance in the class result, I suggested they let the parents know that they will clone a team of teachers to tackle that area which the child is not doing well in, and make sure they do it.

Let me use this medium and address parents on this issue.

The academic year has come to an end and results given out. If your child's result is like the one discussed here, be calm and read my mind as I continue.

The problem is not that your child is not doing well in the class, the problem is you thinking your child will not do well in life.

Don't worry, the classroom is for learning and not for judgement because life is too big for success to be measured in a room.

Yes, I understand there are things every child is expected to do amongst their mates. If your child is not doing them, don't  abuse him, and don't judge him with the ability of others. There are other things he can do that his mates can't even imagine.

You have to understand that it will surely take some time for monkeys to swim like fish in the ocean, likewise fish competing with monkeys on trees.

Monkeys are celebrated for their climbing skills and fish for their swimming prowess. So don't compare your child with other kids, rather, look for his strength.

"Nothing destroys the inner strength of a child like the things that make them feel inferior. One of such is child comparison."

You have to understand that we are only sharing the same planet (earth) and not the same world, meaning that every child has his or her own world to live in and to rule.

Help your child find his world and watch if he will not be crowned a king.

Appreciate the school and cheer up your child for both not involving himself in exam malpractice which could have made his weaknesses remain hidden. This is one of the reasons we have thousands of confused graduates today in the society. Their weaknesses were decorated with flying colors making them look intelligent, and now they are adults yet not knowing their purpose in life.

Very importantly, you have to understand that your role in your child's academic success is beyond paying school fees.

More than 80% of the world's best were taught by their parents at home, starting from Thomas Edison whom his teacher sent home labelling him a dummy, and the mother took it upon herself to prove to the world that she did not give birth to a dummy; she home schooled him.

Now, imagine the world without Thomas Edison's inventions and imagine Thomas Edison's inventions without his mother.

Your work is to mould your child the way you want him to be, while teachers are to assist you in achieving this, so don't leave your duty for teachers.

Create time to teach your child everyday. If you don't understand the 21st century education system, go and learn. Dr. Ben Carson's mother had to learn how to read and write at her old age in order to help her son succeed in the class. Today her son, 'Ben Carson', is the world's best Neurosurgeon. You too can help your child come tops.

Stop saying "what am I paying the school for?" It is the height of irresponsibility. You can ask your child's teacher questions, but the responsibility is mutual.

Have private time with your child's teacher and check where the challenge might be from. Your child might be fit in his field but because of  overplaying, laziness, distraction, Friends, or emotional trauma, he or she couldn't perform well.

Also have some time with your child and ask him or her things which he or she thinks contributed to the poor performance. This moment is not to criticize or condemn, but to evaluate and find solutions.

Am I saying it's a good thing for your child to fail in an exam? No. I only want you to remove your eyes from  the result paper and focus it on your child and tell yourself:

• "my child is not a failure" 
• "my child remains the best" 
• "there is none like my child and there will be none after him" 
• "my child is special"

And I add, "Your child is good enough."

Real life experience shared by;

©Chris Peter.